Guest Post - Julie Gumm | Nourished Hearts

Written by: Kim de Blecourt
Date Posted: August 20th, 2012
Category: Adoption, Guest Post, Inspirational Stories
Comments: 5 Comments »

WHAT ADOPTION TAUGHT ME ABOUT GIVING CONTROL TO GOD

It took me years to learn to love roller coasters. As a child at Disneyland I preferred the teacups. It went round the big circle and I, depending on how hard I turned the wheel at the center, controlled how fast we spun

Roller coasters represented the unknown – twists, turns and giant hills followed by stomach-dropping plunges I was sure would catapult me out of the car.

So what was a self-diagnosed control freak thinking blurting out “So what do you think about adopting?” during lunch with my husband one day. I had no idea the wild ride before us.

God led us to two beautiful children in Ethiopia – 6 year-old Beza and 8 year-old Wendemagegn. They were there, waiting for us, and we hadn’t even started the adoption process.

Of course the ride begins with paperwork – tons of paperwork. But at least paperwork was something I could control with my color-coded folders and checklists. Make appointments for physicals – check. Fingerprints – check. Homestudy visits – check. Authenticate dossier – check.

The day I was putting our dossier on a FedEx truck, we got a call. The organization we found the children through was changing partner adoption agencies. It was up to us, but they advised us to switch.

This was NOT in my flow chart.

After several phone calls and prayer we decided to switch. We would have to redo some of our paperwork, paperwork we couldn’t have until we were approved as clients. They didn’t seem to care that my husband was about to leave the country for three weeks which would only delay us further.

I think that was my first melt down. It wouldn’t be my last. In the end, the new agency wouldn’t accept us due to our income level. So we continued with the original agency.

Someone get me off this roller coaster!

Some of our best friends, Dustin & Jen, had started the Ethiopian adoption process seven months earlier. They had a different agency and were on the waiting list for an infant.

One day Jen remarked, “Wouldn’t that be cool if we could travel together! I’m going to start praying for that.”

The odds didn’t seem good. We expected to have the kids home by July. They weren’t even matched yet.

We plodded through the process, hoping to pass court before the rainy season government shutdown that lasts from August to October.

Someone totally dropped the ball and we missed the deadline – second meltdown.

I had dreamed of having the kids home by summer. Instead, we were a family of four traveling to California that August for vacation.

Meanwhile, Dustin & Jen were matched with a beautiful boy and would be submitted to court when it reopened.

Traveling together began to seem like a possibility – still remote, but I began to pray for it as well. We had connected with an Ethiopian pastor in Phoenix who has a ministry in Ethiopia called Hope for the Hopeless. If we traveled together we could go early and do ministry together.

Courts reopened but there were more issues with our paperwork. I felt so helpless – all I could do was make endless phone calls.

TIA. “This is Africa.” It runs on its own time schedule – or not.

Dustin and Jen got a court date with a tentative travel date of November 30-December 6th.

We finally got our court date – November 28. That put our travel around Christmas.

We would not be going at the same time.

In the weeks before our court date there had been an unusual amount of delays from the courts requesting more paperwork. The fate of my children rested in the hands of a judge in Ethiopia and God.

Dustin and Jen didn’t pass on their first try and were given new tentative travel dates. A week before Christmas – a week before our tentative travel.

We were SO close! I called our case worker and BEGGED to see if we could get our Embassy date pushed up – provided we passed court. There would be a small risk our paperwork wouldn’t be ready, but she agreed.

We passed court on the first try. Dustin & Jen passed court four days later. We would be traveling together!

Through all the ups and downs of our roller coaster ride, God had been in control, working to make our desire to share this experience come true.

Of course he had to throw one more lesson in there for me.

Dustin and Jen’s agency pushed their Embassy appointment back a week – to our original travel dates. My pleas to move up our Embassy date had been completely unnecessary.

I just had to laugh. It was like God saying, “Girl, I had it under control the WHOLE time. I don’t need you!”

About Julie Gumm – Julie is married to her high-school sweetheart and the mother of 4 children from 2 continents. She is the author of the bestselling book “Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption” and blogs at juliegumm.com

5 Responses to “Guest Post – Julie Gumm”

Julie Gumm – Adoption & Control: Guest Post at Nourished Hearts says:

August 20, 2012 at 9:54 am

[...] Please pop over to Kim’s blog, read and leave a comment. [...]

Reply
Christina Lang says:

August 20, 2012 at 10:30 am

Adoption is indeed the biggest thing that reminds me I still have control issues. Even now that all the paperwork is signed and our two newest ones have our last name, I still get frustrated when things don’t go as I believe they should. Now we are dealing with the attachment process and the behaviors. These things are in my face everyday and consistently remind me to give my day to God. These are things I cannot control, but with His help, I can make it another day. Adoption has taught me more about myself than it has taught me about anything. This has both been wonderful and scary. Thank you for your post.

Reply
- Julie Gumm says:
  
  August 20, 2012 at 12:56 pm
  
  So true, adoption seems to have revealed so many of my inadequacies it’s not even funny. Thank goodness God loves me anyway and that I don’t have to do this on my own!
  
  Reply
  - Kim de Blecourt says:
    
    August 20, 2012 at 7:18 pm
    
    Julie ~ Oh, isn’t that the truth! I must be tagged as one of His needy children…I’ve learned so very much about our Father through our adoption. Thank you for sharing your story and writing talent with us today. I hope you will share again. ~ Kim
    
    Reply
- Kim de Blecourt says:
  
  August 20, 2012 at 7:16 pm
  
  I could not agree more, Christina. I have often wondered how I must have appeared to our Father? Was it like our son, who was so sensory deprived? Over the last three years of watching him blossom and grow into all of his possibilities, I know there is a chance for me! God is just so good that way…He encourages me even in the little, everyday ways. Thank you for reading and sharing. ~ Kim
  
  Reply